Writing to you another letter just so you know how I feel about being your mother at this time of the year.
So we celebrated your birthday more than two months ago and right now, you're just enjoying summer vacation. Nowadays, you love saying no to showers but once you're in, you don't wanna get out of it! You just learned how to follow on to my singing and you like Moonriver the most. Old school, yeah I know.
You love helping Mommy cut some dried flowers as well as trimming grass in our little flower garden. Did you know that you cut all my fresh flowers at one side of our garden the other week? I was sad at first but couldn't get mad at you, lol
Since I like engaging you to household chores, you love helping me in the kitchen and we usually cook together albeit the frying; that would have been scary.
In the recent year, I've been shedding tears and praying hard since following the story of Courageous Caitie who was a 3-year-old girl, died of leukemia like your Tita Kate. Tita Kate is like a sister to Mommy and I lost her to leukemia when we were just 20 years old. How I miss her. Just so you know, Anak. Mommy can get mental, crazy or whatever you call it every time Mommy reads something bad or sad or awful in the news, media or anywhere else.
As a mother, my heart goes out to those parents whose children suffer especially in the face of sickness. But as part of life, sickness and death and all other awful things happen. Embracing the fact that God has put us here on Earth temporarily, He is actually preparing us to an eternal life in heaven if we only believe and be obedient to Him.
As I am a mother to you and Jesus like a father to all of us, Jesus only wants the best for us. And I only want the best for you.
In the recent days, I've been so worried and fearful what's gonna be like when something bad and unexpected happens to one of us. But I've done all the thinking and talked to myself that there's only one thing I could do -- and that is to pray. Prayer is my weapon.
Almost every morning, I keep on putting my hand on to your forehead and bless you with words like "In Jesus' mighty name, I bless you to be a God-loving person, grow up to live a full, long healthy and peaceful life under God's grace and love."
Worries and fears will always be there, Anak. Even after five years of having you, I am still in this learning phase of how parenthood is all about. One thing I am certain though, no matter what life throws at you, God's hand is always at work and we need to learn on how to just be still and trust him.
I may be fearful of a lot of things, but I pray and pray and pray and put all my hope to God. My goal is to live every day under God's light and enjoy life with you and our family, make happy memories as long as we're here. Love you so much, Anak.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7