My 19th Letter To Freedom

Hello Son,

Writing to you another letter just so you know how I feel about being your mother at this time of the year.

So we celebrated your birthday more than two months ago and right now, you're just enjoying summer vacation. Nowadays, you love saying no to showers but once you're in, you don't wanna get out of it! You just learned how to follow on to my singing and you like Moonriver the most. Old school, yeah I know.

You love helping Mommy cut some dried flowers as well as trimming grass in our little flower garden. Did you know that you cut all my fresh flowers at one side of our garden the other week? I was sad at first but couldn't get mad at you, lol

Since I like engaging you to household chores, you love helping me in the kitchen and we usually cook together albeit the frying; that would have been scary.

In the recent year, I've been shedding tears and praying hard since following the story of Courageous Caitie who was a 3-year-old girl, died of leukemia like your Tita Kate. Tita Kate is like a sister to Mommy and I lost her to leukemia when we were just 20 years old. How I miss her. Just so you know, Anak. Mommy can get mental, crazy or whatever you call it every time Mommy reads something bad or sad or awful in the news, media or anywhere else.

As a mother, my heart goes out to those parents whose children suffer especially in the face of sickness. But as part of life, sickness and death and all other awful things happen. Embracing the fact that God has put us here on Earth temporarily, He is actually preparing us to an eternal life in heaven if we only believe and be obedient to Him.

As I am a mother to you and Jesus like a father to all of us, Jesus only wants the best for us. And I only want the best for you.

In the recent days, I've been so worried and fearful what's gonna be like when something bad and unexpected happens to one of us. But I've done all the thinking and talked to myself that there's only one thing I could do -- and that is to pray. Prayer is my weapon.

Almost every morning, I keep on putting my hand on to your forehead and bless you with words like "In Jesus' mighty name, I bless you to be a God-loving person, grow up to live a full, long healthy and peaceful life under God's grace and love."

Worries and fears will always be there, Anak. Even after five years of having you, I am still in this learning phase of how parenthood is all about. One thing I am certain though, no matter what life throws at you, God's hand is always at work and we need to learn on how to just be still and trust him.

I may be fearful of a lot of things, but I pray and pray and pray and put all my hope to God. My goal is to live every day under God's light and enjoy life with you and our family, make happy memories as long as we're here. Love you so much, Anak.

Love,
Mommy

 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Flower Garden

Sharing to you my lovely flower garden. Love spending time here relaxing my mind, meditating, praying, having coffee and just enjoying sun, wind and seeing butterflies and bees who visit from time to time.

These flowers are called Zinnia. They are so easy to grow and very low to maintain. You can easily look for these in Tagaytay flower vendors in the market or along the road. Flowers just make the world so, so beautiful!

Freedom Turns Four

Dearest Son,

Two days ago marked your fourth birthday! Your special day began with you waking up to Mommy and Tatay singing a "happy birthday" song. You were all smiles! You knew this day would be so great. We made sure your day would be something really special!

At your fantastic age of four, you get to help Mommy sprinkled some colored chocolate discs to your chocolate birthday cake for some added color!

Mommy drew the small robot, the car and the shark. Tatay took care of Ironman drawing, helicopter and three balloons. We all laughed when Tatay tried to draw that helicopter because it was at first a plane and you said, it doesn't even look like an airplane! So Tatay insisted he's better at drawing helicopter. Well, you said helicopter would do. LOL

That killer smile, Anak! 

  

Before we went to your school to celebrate a Jollibee party, we let you blow your birthday candle first.

Your schoolmates were so happy to sing you a birthday song after we played some games.

 

 

Tatay and I are so happy you enjoyed this day. Every single day, we pray that you grow as a God-loving person. I always pray that God sends His angels to protect you. I want more days and years with you, Anak. Mommy loves you to the moon and back.

 

Mommy



Bento Box Ideas For Toddlers

Hi mommies! This year marks a major milestone for me as a mommy as we have enrolled Freedom to daycare classes. At 3, he was so happy to go to school already and we are so amazed with all the things he learned from there. His eyes would lit up every time he shares stories on what happened in school every afternoon, and me and his Tatay always check out his star marks given by his teacher.

To tell you honestly, I was a bit worried at first that he couldn't adjust well due to his young age. But I guess my son is just a social person. I sure know where he got that!

When we talk about school, baon ideas come in mind second! This is a bit challenging to every mother out there and so I wanna share with you all the bento boxes I prepared for Freedom to bring to school. I prepare them just before I leave for work -- at 2AM!

Tantararan........

grapes, cheese sandwich bars, boiled egg

Boiled corn, green grapes, crackers and cheese bar

Freedom's fave corn, egg whites, red apple slice

Hansel Premium cheese crackers, boiled corn, scrambled egg, Spam

Corn, mocha muffin and sliced mangoes

Grapes, peanut kisses, Hansel Premium cheese crackers and Dutch Mill yogurt drink

I promise you I'll share more bento box ideas soon!

My 17th Letter To Freedom

Dearest Son,

Mom just thought of writing you again to let you know all the best things you continue to give me and your Tatay.

In less than 4 months, you'll be 3! I can't believe you'll be a full grown kid by then. We can't wait to throw another birthday party for you. We can't wait to let you blow candles a hundred times again.

I'm starting to fear you're growing up so fast though. You now know how to say sorry, tell a joke, give the sweetest kisses and hugs, even trick us to things so you can go on doing mischief acts! LOL

The fun but hard part now though is that you are now very aware of things and time. Like how you cry when you wake up without Mom and Tatay in sight. Like how you say you want to go to Timezone or to the park. Like how you wait for us after our work's shifts. Like how you ask for your pasalubong every time we come home. Like how you say Mom can't go to the kitchen to cook. You'd always want both me and Tatay to be inside the room with you, how so adorable are you? You can now even remember events and places!


Nothing's changed, Anak. You are still the apple of our eyes. The best thing now is you are already a little person that interacts fully with us and we enjoy this so much! You give us laughs no one can. You are a funny, smart kid. I remember last weekend, you want Mommy to close her eyes so you can play cooking with your milk bottles which Mommy says you can't! You pretend you cook something in a bowl, you use your milk bottles as salt or pepper and you toss the bowl like a chef! Oh, the clever things you see in Tatay while he's cooking!

 Can you see how you lean your head on the table, attentively watching Tatay draw?

Or your cute attempt at drawing!

You are one happy kid!

I must say, you are such a character! You are cute, stubborn, even unyielding but a smart, sweet, loving little boy. I want more of these musings as you grow each day.

Freedom's DIY Shirts

I'm a practical mom and I'm crazy about DIY. If only I have all the time in the world, I'll DIY almost all things we use at home. See my post about my DIY curtains and sheets. If I have a nailgun, I would've done a lot of tables and chairs already! LOL

In this post, I wanna share all the DIY shirts that I made for Freedom. Because my son is so active, I prefer putting him on cool shirts when we go out while he runs here and there. I usually make them in batches. I buy comfortable plain white and colored shirts and hand sew characters on them using old cloth I find at home.

Mustache shirt. Funny and cool.

 

The necktie shirt. Simply awesome.

Rocking and rolling on this guitar shirt.

 

He loves everything about robots and so I made this robot shirt.

My son dances to all Hi5 songs. Here chilling and relaxing on his Hi5 shirt.

I get my inspiration from the things he loves -- robots, ball, Hi5, etc. As a practical mom, making these DIY shirts is cheap without suffering comfort and style.

Freedom is 2!

Dearest Son,

Happy Birthday, my little guy! You just turned 2 and nights from your birthday, I switched your lullaby song from "Torete" to "Happy Birthday" medley just because you requested for it. You are so funny that even when your eyes are closed, drifting away to sleep with Mommy's lullaby, you still manage to request what song Mommy would sing for you! Pretty hilarious!

It has been a great journey with you, Anak. The joy you constantly give me and your Tatay is just amazing! Today, we celebrated your birthday with a simple lunch in our small neighborhood. You woke up to Mommy and Tatay singing "Happy Birthday" to you. You can't barely open your eyes then but you were smiling and giggling! 

We started our day at 7am running errands, had some breakfast, took a shower, went to buy your cake, and decorated to make your day more special. Tatay cooked spaghetti for you. Tito RR, Nana and Tita Remy grilled liempo and tilapia, cooked shanghai rolls and pancit bihon which you loved! You jumped, hopped, played basketball and pretended to be Dagohoy in between! But the highlight of it all was you blowing your candles until they're at their shortest! Haha!

 

 These are all Mommy's DIY!

Celebrating your birthday robot style!

Rocking your shaved head on your big day!

Dagohoy on his favorite Minion shirt.

Your Tatay kept on convincing you to blow the candles for the LAST time but you still insisted "more" and since it's your birthday, he let you blow them  like a hundred times! Haha!

This day was so much fun and we are so glad you enjoyed it! 

My Freedom rocks!!!!!

Love,

Mommy

I Want A Norland Nanny

Warning: This is a nanny rant.

I wished I had one of these Norland nannies. You see, Norland nannies are those who are highly trained and are the best in the world. They serve the Royals and are considered some of the most expensive ones.

Well, I'm not a Royal so I can't hire one! But having yaya blues yet again, I wished I was one though.

I really don't know what to do anymore. Does this yaya problem ever end? It really doesn't matter how well you pay them or how well you treat them. It's more of a matter of luck. This is despite I have one for a relative.

My current yaya has been causing me to go absent from work, got me working more household chores than usual, even decided not to give her my son for over an hour anymore. All in a span of two months only. Why? Because one neighbor told me she just goes on texting and making calls while looking after my kid. How does she do that all at one time? And I ignored that one concern from one neighbor weeks ago.

I even have to put up with her incompetence when it comes to household chores 'cause I've got no choice. I got to work. Yesterday, she came back 10am when I firmly pointed out to her that I have somewhere else to go to at 830am. And a lot of neighbors have reported yesterday of how her eyes and fingers are glued on her phone while looking after my son putting one neighbor's observation to a sealed deal.

When she came back, I confronted her calmly. She denied these of course! She went on crying fits by this time. No matter how she denies these, I believe my neighbors have basis on telling me of her doings. They're only concerned about my son's welfare. I had to tell her if these are not true, then let's move on now but I have to stress to her once again the importance of coming in to work on time from a day off and the top most importance of making sure the safety of my son.

Since I feel so miserable right that I can say it sucks not to be a Royal that I have to keep her in the meantime till I can find a replacement for her. I'll let her do the majority of household work since I'm on night shift and I can look after my son majority of the day. That's what I've been doing actually. It just makes me feel sad and annoyed at the same time that I have to pay somebody for being incompetent.

I talked to her again today. I have to let her go. My priority is my son. I don't want to regret one day if ever something happens to my precious kid. In the first place, I am working my ass off for my child. I can make compromises at work. I can't put my son's safety to chances. I'm letting her go.

I got to have one of those Norland nannies!

Maneuvering Mommy Guilt

I'm a guilt-driven mom just like any mom I suppose. So here are some thoughts on how I navigate the dreaded, monstrous mommy guilt and try to be a more relaxed mommy. And I think I failed at trying to be the latter. Read and find out for yourself.

On leaving my child for work. Check!
Seriously. Almost all moms feel guilty about going to work and leaving their child to a nanny. But I have to be realistic. I need to work in order to provide for my son. A one-income household just couldn't survive especially with the state of the Philippine economy. Yes, I've accepted this reality already.

On giving healthy meals. Check!
Yeah, I get it. We all try to give super healthy meals to our kids every time, but there are days when you just couldn't do and make it, well, super healthy. So in order to be not too hard on myself, I guess a slip here and there of an unhealthy meal twice or thrice a week wouldn't hurt so bad. Oh, is Lucky Me Lomi with eggs unhealthy? My son loves LM Lomi and this is my savior on days I'm just too darn tired.

On having a ME time. Check but uncheck!
Me time for me is an hour at the mall, running errands or doing grocery. Heck a 20-minute uninterrupted shower time is even a luxury for me! Ridiculous, right? Yeah, I know I need to be more creative but I don't have the luxury yet of going to spas or go on shopping spree. An hour of massage from our reflexology-trained neighbor makes me uber happy already. I noticed that I feel less guilty when before I step out of the door, my son has done with shower, took his vitamins, ate a healthy meal, had his inhaler shots, and is taking a nap. That's not counting the long list of instructions to the nanny on what to do when he wakes up. See? I am one crazy, annoying mommy and you can shoot me now.

On sending my kid to play outside without me. So uncheck!
This kills me every damn time! Call me OA but I just can't bear the thought of sending Freedom outside with his yaya to play. I work night shifts and I'm with my baby the whole day. When I come home, I make sure I put him to naps, feed him, play with him. Sometimes, if I can't sleep while he sleeps, I send him outside to play for like an hour and it bothers me. Yeah, I know. I need to sleep! I try to overcome this by repeatedly telling myself, "get over it and sleep! This is one area I need to work on. It's daddy and baby time between 4pm-6pm and I always end up still going with them 'cause I feel jealous and makes 'this is our family time of the day' an excuse to join them. I'm so over the top, I hate myself.

On not being more creative with play. Check and uncheck!
This one is hard because my baby is super active. He's a very spirited kid and he will try every single thing to test your patience especially when he's bored. And this one is to blame on me. I need to think of more ways on how to entertain him without me getting exhausted. He's fond of going up and down stairs, never-ending peekaboos, running around looking for harmless centipedes on the ground, swinging by my legs and so on and so forth. It's hard to keep him entertained without me getting physically drained, more so if I lack sleep. Some days are better when I think of something non-physical activity to do like giving a bag of mung beans to decant from one cup to another. Or read him a book that I read to him like a thousand times already. Sometimes, I give him a bag of small dried fishes like dilis. He adores any kind of fish, raw, cooked or dried. This trick makes him super happy and the mommy is as well happy albeit the cleaning part!

Note to self (repeat 100x):
I believe that no matter how guilty I feel, my son will always adore me. In his eyes, I am still the best mommy no matter how many times I leave him to go to work, or how many hours he spends in a day without mommy in sight, or how many times I thought I failed him. He will only have one mommy in his lifetime and I’m sure I mean more to him than anyone else in the world.

Mommy Meltdown

I just experienced what any mom dreaded the most. I had a mommy meltdown.

My son wasn't feeling very well and developed a fever last Sunday. And then a blanket of symptoms developed like on and off rash and mouth sores. I thought I could still manage him at home since his fever only lasted 2 days. I was wrong. We consulted his pediatrician and mouth sores were to blame. His doctor explained that residue from his asthma inhaler stays in his mouth and this causes him to develop mouth sores that I'm sure hurt as hell. He prescribed Daktarin. He also advised to give him water every after inhaler shots to clear the deposits away. I wonder when will he stop these inhalers.

I've had my share of sleepless nights every time Freedom gets sick. But this episode was the worst of all. Since we're officially in toddlerville, he's more difficult to manage because he can now express his frustrations more clearly.

He only wants mummy! No one but mummy! He cries and cries and cries and cries. When I'm not looking at him, he cries. When I try to carry him to comfort him, he cries. When I put him down, he cries. When I try to give him a bottle, he cries. I tried my best to lull him to sleep through dancing, standing, swaying, singing, tapping; he will sleep but the moment I try to sit down, he cries! Whatever I do, he cries and cries and cries! Clearly, I’m doing something wrong! Now, where could I buy a Red Bull I.V. drip?

He will jolt his whole body as an expression of his frustration and my 120-pound body couldn't take this very well. I have aches all over my body. It felt like my body will split in half down my waist. Out of frustration, I thought to myself, “If I could just shove him back to my vagina, I will!”

I tried to talk him out of it, it didn't work. I tried to tell him mom is doing everything she can in a firm voice, it didn't work. I got frustrated. I got tired. I got angry. The last thing I thought during that time was to put him down and run away as fast as I could.

The next thing I knew, I raised my voice saying, "I don't know what to do with you anymore." I put him on bed and walked out of the room. His tatay and nanny are still in the room so I know he's safe. I can still hear him cry for me. I sat outside with my hands burying my face. I couldn't take it anymore. I was there for about a minute or two when his tatay carried him over to me 'cause he was still crying.

I took him then. I hugged him. I kissed him. I said sorry. I hugged him again, tighter this time. He stopped crying. I lulled him to sleep, singing to him.

I felt so regretful. I was mad at myself. I felt inadequate as a mom. I don't know why I didn't handle it well. I just snapped. Maybe it was my lack of sleep. Maybe I was really tired. But it happened and I feel just awful. The next morning, I still couldn't move on. How could I do this to my child? How could I lose patience with him?

After two more days, my son felt better. He was already up and about, smiling, giggling and even hopping! In other words, he's back to his normal self. The little monster in him has gone to Deviland! The good news is he still loves mommy to bits despite of everything that happened. I tend to overkiss my child but after what happened, I was like over overkissed him!

It dawned to me then that my child has already moved on. When he’s moved on, I might as well move on. The experience was unpleasant and awful. I hate myself forever to have done what I did. I didn't want any mom experience the same. I blame myself for what happened but I can only learn from this experience in order to be a better mom. I still have a long way to go. I am learning every day.

I don't know if I will ever lose my cool again with my son but I hope not, please not anymore. Through this ordeal, I will make sure I'll remain as calm as possible despite lack of sleep and tiredness. I’d make sure I know where to get that Red Bull I.V. drip. A tantrum will not get away with a negative reaction from me. I should know better how to handle tantrums in the future especially when my child is just throwing one because he doesn't feel well.

We all strive to be better in anything we do. For me, being a better mom is what I desire more than being a better employee or any role I take on. With all these realizations and promises to do better the next time, I still feel inadequate. I still feel awful. I was inadequate as a mom. I wasn't a good mom.

That was a bad day for me. But that was only one day. I will move on. I promise that most days, I will be an adequate mother. I will be a good mother. I will be a better mother.

I hope I'll learn not to be too hard on myself though. I am, after all, just human. I make mistakes. I get angry. I get frustrated. I get tired. I cry. I lose patience. I shut down.

On the other hand, being human also means I am capable of forgiving; especially myself. Being human means I can move on. I can let go. I can share. I can give. I can laugh. I can smile. I can love. I can hope. I can dream. I can make a difference.

Waiting For Freedom

Since we just celebrated Father's Day last weekend, I want to turn the spotlight on to the Mister. I want to share to you something very special. This was written by my loving husband while I was inside the delivery room, pushing, screaming, grimacing, losing-all-composure, having-the-time-of-my-life, giving-my-all moment.

You see, the Mister is better than I am when it comes to writing. I've been nagging him about all the Post-it notes I keep on collecting that are scattered all over our room ever since the world began. I could have compiled them all and made a book out of it! Hmmm...That gave me an idea!

The hospital in Bacolod where I gave birth doesn't allow husbands inside the delivery room. It was a hard experience but we made it through. I gave birth to my lovely boy via normal delivery at 9:17pm on Feb. 8, 2012 after 5 hours of grueling labor pains.

Read on.

Waiting For Freedom

This is , by far, the longest afternoon I've ever experienced. 

Time drips away like a whale oil candle burning brightly through this stormy and restless skies, yet consuming every bit of each passing moment. These eggshell white and powder blue halls are teeming with movements that dissipate as quickly as they were made, anticipating one of these full motion figures would stop to provide me the well-deserved courtesy of a blow-by-blow coverage. What's going on behind these curtain covered rooms?  Is my wife and child doing alright? Is there anything I could buy or do to remind my loved ones that I am steadfast and expecting? 

A millions thoughts racing in my head, while a fear I have never felt before crawls underneath my skin. Helpless as I sit here, pounding my stress into this fragile machine. I wish this was just like them fistfights in school or the riots in a friend's university but nay, this will probably be one of the most decent moments of my life.

So here I am. Waiting for Freedom...

Finally! Our little bundle of joy - 2 hours old.

Baby No. 2

Time out! I am N-O-T pregnant. I'm writing this because I wanted to talk the Mister and myself out of having baby no. 2. Yes. I am choosing want to stop at one child. Every time I'd share this to anyone I know, I get the typical response of, oh, you'll want another one the moment Freedom turns 3. And there's always that hush-hush assumption that onlies are spoiled little monkeys. Well, my bestfriend is an only child and she is no spoiled brat. She’s in fact one of the most responsible daughters a parent can have.

The Mister wants two kids. And I understand his reasoning behind this choice. He wants Freedom to have someone to lean on other than us. I respect that. I see his point. But this is an avenue where we are currently not agreeing. I only want one child. I have listed down the pros and cons in my mind. Still, I only want one child.

I may not take this path one more time so I want to appreciate this beautiful form.

I am not a perfect mother. I had my fair share of mishaps and blunders as a mom. I mature each day as a mom. I guess I'm getting good at it. It's just that when I became a mother, I lost myself somehow. It was all about Freedom. Yes, I am a hovering mommy. I became more of a mother than my own person. If I will not change me crazy self now, I’m sure Freedom will despise me for being an OA mom that I am today. It became worse when I started to neglect my duties as the good wife. I have to remind myself that I am a wife first, then a mom second. Good thing the Mister understood. He does try. Thanks, Meluvs!

I do not resent Freedom for what I feel. I love my boy to bits. It's just me who got stuck. But I'm happy to report that I'm slowly bouncing back. It's exhausting staying vigilant all the time. Every day is still a struggle as my baby is just so cute to me. He does things so funny to me and I can't help it. I get carried away from time to time. In short, I am losing myself one time too many. Maybe because I don't want to miss a single thing as he grows up, which by the way happens steadily fast!

All moms want the best for their kids. We all struggle to raise a happy, independent child to face this wonderful but complex world. So I figure if I want a happy kid, I need to be a happy mom. And to be a happy mom, I need to be a happy person. Needless to say a happy wife means a happy husband and vice versa.

Happy people make one happy world!

Don't get me wrong. I am happy with my life. Well, I can be happy today. I can be sad tomorrow. I may feel delighted next week. There are of course the typical bumps and jumps along the way but all is very well. My choice of having one child rooted from my pursuit of constant happiness. Yeah, I heard you. Happiness is relative but it also needs hard work. Let's not get hypocrite. Sometimes, it's hard to maintain being happy. I'm sort of a melancholic character. Sometimes, borderline depressive.

My description of happiness is not complex. It's not ambitious; it's never pretentious. I am happy with simple pleasures. Happiness means freedom. I believe having one child will be liberating. I don't want to live a life full of obligations. I want to save my authentic self while working hard to be the best mom to my kid .And I'd be happiest if I can have the freedom to
- go to movies and concerts
- go to my hubby’s gigs (this I miss!)
- go on romantic vacations and foodventures with the Mister
- deluge myself in solitude
- spend quality time with my son
- take care of my Mama and Papa as they grow old
- spend special occasions with my parents and siblings
- travel to places with closest girlfriends
- invest for my son's future
- save enough for a meaningful retirement

I know I sound selfish to some. I could care less. They can kill me with their judgment. I have to love myself. I will not be bound by close-mindedness. I need to make wise choices within the boundaries of my reality. And my reality is that I wouldn't be able to do most, if not all of the above, with a second child.

The truth is, no matter how privileged we are, we all have a burden to carry. All of us do what we do to better our lives. And these are the things I want to do. I want a meaningful life. I want to live my life to the fullest and spend it with my loved ones. Oh, don't worry. I will make sure Freedom has the happiest childhood. I'll make sure he'll have wonderful cousins and best friends for siblings. I'll make sure he'll be the happiest kid on the block even though he's an only child. The Mister and I have the rest of our lifetimes do exactly that.

I am not here to convince any parent to also decide on having one child. I am not here to judge any parent who's had one child too many. I am not here to make any parent feel bad or regret having more than one child. This is my own choice, at least if you ask me now. Please don't kill me though if I ever eat my words. It would have been a different scenario had I won the lottery. Even so, I might still settle on having just two. As I said, I wanted to talk myself out of this. I want to be a mom of an only child.

There you go. I hope the Mister reads this (wink wink).

Blooming Motherhood = Deteriorating Friendship

I am a passionate mother to my son and I can't imagine my life without him. I want every minute spent with him, which makes it very difficult for me since I have a full-time job. When my work hours shifted to 11pm-8am, I was delighted! This meant I got to be with Freedom and look after his needs every day of the week! We spend the entire day eating meals, taking naps, strolling outside, reading books, cuddling, and playing. I am just in heaven every day!

There's just one thing though that's been irking me these past few weeks. I noticed that I haven't had gone out with friends for some time now. I guess for four months already! It's been a long time really. I don't know if they just assume I'm busy by default or vice versa. The Hubby has been telling me to go out and have some ME time. "I'll take care of Freedom. Go out and have some fun," he said. But I'm always hearing myself respond, "It seems like I don't have friends anymore."

It dawned to me that not one of my closest friends had invited me to go out or have a chitchat for some time now. It made me very sad. Maybe I am stuck in mommyhood bliss for a while. Maybe it was me who had stopped trying to keep in touch. I am such a bad friend. I wish that everything is fine with them though. I wish this is just a phase.

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely. - Pam Brown

My SuperMom Story Entry

I recently joined Amanda Loving Life's makeover contest for mommies. I'm not really expecting to actually win the contest. I also sort of wanting to share my story as a mom of an asthmatic child. As you can see, this blog is a vehicle for me to share my journey as a first-time mom of my precious son, Free. Read on.

I am a first-time mom of a 16-month-old baby boy with asthma. After a series of hospital admissions for pneumonia and non-stop bouts of colds, Freedom was diagnosed with this problematic condition when he was just eight months old. Any mother out there knows how it feels like when your child is sick. I know how bad it feels when my son was often admitted in hospitals. I’ll never go into the details of  how my husband and I coped with sleepless nights while he's having an attack; our dealings with round-the-clock medications, nebulizations and inhaler shots. Whilst you cannot overlook the financial strain this ordeal caused, it has also definitely taken a toll on me -- on my work, on my relationships, on my overall self-care.

But with the help of my loving husband, family and friends; I am starting to get back on track with almost every aspect of my mommy life. We are trying our best to keep my son's asthma under control, and it's getting better and better every day. I know I still have a long way to go as a mom of an asthmatic child. I always tell myself, as long as my baby is having no more attacks, I am the happiest mom! The daily joys he brings to our lives are endless.

With all these asthma management-related stuff I am dealing with, I definitely deserve a little break and want to feel beautiful. Asthma management is for the long haul. It would really cheer me up if I'll have a mommy makeover for free! After all, I can't remember the last time I was able to buy anything for myself. And the last time I had anything done with my hair was when my baby started to grab my long hair with his cute tiny fingers that I had to cut it short.

I thank God every day that I am blessed with a very active, happy kid who has taught Mommy how to be the strongest. He is the one who taught me how to be the best mommy for him. My son, Freedom, made me feel like I am a mythical heroine called "supermom." 

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