Letters to Freedom

I started this daily letter to my son a few months back when we were at the peak of stress caused by his diagnosis of asthma. After establishing his asthma management with his pedia-pulmonologist, the Hubby and I decided to send Freedom to Bacolod to my parents to have a full recovery. We figure that fresh air in the province would help him develop strong lungs and his pedia recommended this too. His tiny lung just couldn't bear Manila pollution. I had a very hard time being away from my son. And I poured my heart's content by writing him a daily letter.

And it helped me get through this difficult period. Read on.

February 16, 2013

The days and nights without seeing your smile seem to be taking forever.

Dearest Son,

I feel like loving you forever since the day I laid eyes on you. You are God's most precious gift. I've never felt so much alive the first time I knew I'm having you. Having you in our lives has been a living dream. I have nothing to wish for you but to become a good son of God, healthy and free in mind, body and soul.

I'll be starting to write to you every day from this day on forward. My words will be your guide. My words will let you know how much Mommy loves you. My words will be your strength.

Love,

Mommy

February 17, 2013

Dearest Son,

Tonight Mommy can't sleep. I was wondering whether you already had your inhaler shots done. I can't wait for morning to see you on Skype. I've been fixing all the mess from your first birthday celebration. I came upon your toys and gifts. I tucked them away in the closet neatly. I can't wait to show them to you again when you come home.

Tatay misses you so much. But he always assures me we are doing this for your own good. Don't worry my sweetie, we'll be together soon. And mommy is going to shower you with kisses, with hugs, tickles and lots of peekaboos.

Goodnight, Free. I'll be dreaming of you tonight.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

February 17, 2013

Dearest Son,

I promised I'll be writing to you every day. This is my second today. Sorry, one letter can't tell all I have to say to you. I'm still looking for a good notepad to write these by hand. I guess writing by hand would be better...sweeter...lovelier.

Mommy is done with laundry. I was having so much pride brushing your little cute white shirts with all the stains on it. I was imagining how cute they are on you. I know you'll be staining these shirts on most days. What do I expect? You're a kid. I want you to enjoy everything, learning and exploring everything even it means wreaking havoc our house every day.

I called you up early this morning. Your grandma said you're outside with Grandpa eating pandesal. I know how you love your morning walk so I didn't push it. I can call you later today anyway.

Till later my sweetheart. Mommy thinks of your every second of the day. Enjoy your day.

Love,

Mommy

February 18, 2013

LETTERS TO FREEDOM
 
Dearest Son,
 
Mommy woke up at 2am and can't go back to sleep. It's 4:30 on the clock and I know you'll be awake in less than an hour. I wish I could be there for you when you open your eyes, seeing the first smile of the day.

Mommy has been preparing for an interview for today. I'll try my best to nail this.. for you. I lift everything to the Almighty and I know he has a great plan for us.

My child, I hope everything goes well with you today. Is your upper teeth still hurting? I'll send kisses to make them go away. Just know that this is all part of growing up. You'll get through every milestone and it will make you a very strong kid.

Let your worries go away by knowing that you are loved by so many special people around you. We'll take one day at a time, okay? Have a great day, Free.

Love,
Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

February 19, 2013

Dearest Son,

Mommy just had dinner lovingly prepared by Tatay. I tell you Anak, Tatay makes the most awesome french toast and soup. That's what you should be looking forward to while growing up. Of course you can't ignore mommy's good cooking too! Haha!

Tatay and I want you to always enjoy time with us in the kitchen tossing pancakes and mixing pasta sauces. I look forward to doing many more fun stuff with you, Anak. We saw a video of you today. It was all funny with you and Dadoods playing giddy up horsey on Tito RR's shoulders. Haha!

I know you're enjoying your stay there with Mamita and Dadoods. Before you know it, you'll be here with us again. Goodnight my beautiful child. We'll be dreaming of you tonight.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

February 20, 2013

Dearest Son,

Mommy's day went uneventful as usual because of your absence. The only highlight I had was seeing your smile on Skype early this morning. You've grown so much, Anak.

I can't wait to hold you and kiss you again, Anak. I can't wait to cook you healthy meals again. I can't wait to bring you to the park again. I can't wait to watch you while you sleep. I must admit, it is true what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Two more weeks and it's going to be heaven by your side again, Anak. Let all your worries fade away while we wait. Sweet dreams, Free. Tatay and I miss you more today than yesterday.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM:
February 21, 2013
 
Dearest Son,
 
All I want to say to you today is that I miss you TERRIBLY. I don't know how else I can describe the sense of emptiness that I actually feel today. Good thing your Tatay prepared another awesome meal for mommy. It lifted my mood a little bit.

I'm not sure if you could still remember this time being away from mommy when you get older. I hope you won't. I'll say it again. I miss you my sweetheart. Dream of mommy tonight.

Love,
Mommy 

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

2/22/13

Dearest Son,

The weather just doesn't help. I miss you more and more and this is getting worse. I wonder how creative Mamita and Dadoods today in containing you inside the house. You love the outside rain or shine!

I guess I'll just have to bury myself in chores again this weekend. Two more weekends and I'm gonna see your smile again, smell your unique baby scent again and shower you with all the love I can get you.

See you in my dreams, darling.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

February 23, 2013

Dearest Son,

Mommy and Tatay have been spending time together and all we do is talk about you. Tatay says he misses playing with you. You just wouldn't stop playing w/ Tatay, you enjoy it so much.

If only Mommy can push the fast forward button to the day we'll be together again. The days and nights only get slower by the hour. But all we can do is wait, Anak. I promise you this will all be worth it. Promise.

I'll see you soon, sweetie.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

February 25, 2013

Dearest Son,

It was quite harder for me to start this letter today as all I want now is to be with you. The first time that you were away was hard but I never thought that it is going to get THIS hard. Though Mommy and Tatay can't complain. Mamita said your face is like an apple now; plump and red and chubby :)

We can't wait to squeeze those chubby apple cheeks with lots of kisses. I am just so happy that ever since, you eat almost anything given to you. You like fish, veg soup, monggo, potatoes, pumpkin, apples, oranges the most.

Tatay and I were in the mall yesterday to buy some produce. We can't just stay there for too long as kids around remind us how it is going to be when you're with us at that moment. So we skipped the mall and went home, let another night pass with the happy thought that in less than a fortnight, we'll be complete again.

I'll be seeing you, Anak :) Miss you like crazy.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

February 28, 2013

Dearest Son,

Mommy is going to see you again in a week's time! I can't believe we hold on to seeing each other this long. We made it, Anak. We are stronger than ever. It was hard work indeed but the experience brought good things as well.

I hope that when you grow up reading this, you can get insights from the letters I wrote to you, from the experience we had day by day. This experience taught Mommy and Tatay that sometimes, there are just things that are out of our control. I can now hear the song of Beatles "Let It Be" playing in the background.

That's what life is, Anak. There are times that you just need to act like water and let life flow freely. Let go and let it be. Like your name, Freedom. Your name was meant to reflect how your mind thinks. We'd like you to be free of any burden -- the burden of unnecessary norms of the society that insignificantly measure the person you really are. We want you to be free and be who you are. It doesn't matter what you're going to be when you grow up. If you're happy, you'll feel free.

Remember, Mommy loves you whoever you're going to be. See you soon, Anak.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM
February 28, 2013

Dearest Son,
 
I saw a latest photo of you today, Anak. You looked so busy and happy as well as funny. You were attentively looking at your food with no care to anything around you at all. Haha..I wish you stay that way when it comes to food. I didn't want to go through the path of bribing you just so you'll eat your food.

I spent this whole day mostly on reflections. Maybe that's the reason why this is my second letter for you today. Though I can promise you a happy home filled with fun and laughter and love, please understand that there will come a time that Mommy or Tatay will make a mistake in our parenting journey. As you grow day by day, Mommy and Tatay also grow with you day by day -- we mature day by day in our parenting skills.

I hope when the time comes that we make that mistake(s), you already have the understanding that we are imperfect just like everyone else. Just know that in all that we do, we do it out of our unconditional love for you.

Goodnight, Anak. I'll dream of you tonight.

Love,
Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

March 3, 2013

Dearest Son,

In less than a week, Tatay and Mommy are gonna see you! Yay! Mommy has been preparing our place for you.

We've been so happy to start our day today after we saw you on Skype. You were all so giggly and happy and showing off new skills taught to you. Tatay and I couldn't be more proud of you. You are a happy child with a sense of humor. You have your way to us, we just couldn't say no to you every time.

We are looking forward to spending more fun time with you, Anak. You just don't know how big your personality is. You are full of life and you fill our lives with so much joy and purpose. See you soon, Babe. Sweet dreams.

Love,

Mommy

LETTERS TO FREEDOM

March 5, 2013

Dearest Son,

I have been counting the hours until the moment I'll be with you again. I hope that you would recognize Mommy the moment you see her. I can't wait to give you the tightest hug there is.

Mamita and I have been talking nonstop about you. She shared every fun moment she had with you and keeps on describing how funny you are, how quick you are learning things and how big your appetite is when it comes to food -- to any food at that.

I'm so proud of you, Anak. You are the most precious thing God has ever given me. Tatay and Mommy love you loads. We'll dream of you tonight. See you soon.

Love,

Mommy